One Biscut shy...

So many stories, so little time

2012-02-21T17:33:00.003-06:00

Gentle Reader
So since my last post, I've managed to lose 12 lbs. Don't know how other than Weight Watchers, but I'll take it. If I could curtail my drinking I might even lose more. I fell off the wagon a little last weekend between a b-day party on Friday, Founders Day and more day drinking on Saturday and Restaurant week, but I still lost weight. Now I have to push that up and lose more weight.

Lent is coming tomorrow and I've not decided what I'm giving up. I think I'm going to give up all candy. That will help in so many ways. Or I should just work on doing one random act of kindness every day during lent. That Will help the world so much more.

Happy Founders Day to all of my Brothers in Phi Kappa Psi.

Lastly, Saturday was the anniversary of my Mother's passing. I didn't realize how much I missed her until this year. I can totally see her bouncing her grandchildren around and having fun with them. I see her every day in Olivia, when she's so smart.

I miss you mom.

It's update time

2012-02-07T09:47:00.001-06:00

Gentle Reader,

So since we last spoke, I'd talked about getting things ready for the next part of my plan. That started last night at the end of the super bowl. As the confetti fell down on the Giants, and Tom Brady's wife was getting him in trouble with his locker room, I went to my computer and...signed up for Weight Watchers.

Maybe it's Charles Barkley telling me how easy it can be, but I had to do something. I'd already been looking for something to jumpstart this other than exercise, and I thought this would be great. Eat what you want, just don't go over your daily/weekly point totals and you can lose weight. This is going to suck during Restaurant Week, but I'm going to do this.

Talk to you soon

Marc...

Raising the boy - raising the bar

2012-01-23T16:47:00.000-06:00

Gentle Reader...

So last night I was having a conversation with my ex-wife (not to worry, we get along; our goal is to raise the best kids we can) where she told/asked me the following: "I don't know how to raise a boy...what do I do?"

I laughed, and told her firstly that WE have to raise a boy, and get him to manhood. I assured her that we would, along with help from all of the other grownups in his life. I then told her that we'll even turn him into a gentleman. We will give him manners, and refinement, and show him which fork to use and why he should get up from the table when a woman does.

I said something then, that I don't say often, but it rings with me all of the time. My parents used to say that my mom made me a man, but my father made me a gentleman. It was my mother who often yelled at me to stand up straight, to wash my face, to brush my teeth, brush my hair, and look presentable. It was she who would knock a hat or cap off of my head at the table (or anywhere indoors). It was she who would have popped me if my pants were sagging, or if I popped off at a grown up, because, contrary to popular opinion, men don't just pop off for no reason.

On the other hand, it was my Pop who ensured I was taught about style, and class, and gentlemanly behavior. He taught me about simple things that make a big difference, like why you should never wear a suit with unshined shoes, the wonders of the pocket square, and why buying quality versus quantity (and buying versus renting in the tuxedo market) is the way to go. He referred to it as the extra 10%. He got that from esquire magazine (I think, but i never saw him read that magazine ever) , but I use it all of the time.

Its that 10% that I will use to raise the boy. My goal isn't like my fathers - his was to make Mini-Me - but to raise a son, a young man, that will carry on the DUMAS name with all of the prestige and swagger it deserves. If I can do that, we'll be OK.

Before I sign off today, know that we also worry about our daughter as well. Just she seems like she's going to be fine and we're just here to ensure the train doesn't fall off of the track.

Talk soon.

Marc...

p.s - In a total pivot, Congrats to my Chapter at DePaul with their new 16 man pledge class for the winter. Considering at one time, those were the sizes of our fall classes, we've come a long way. High! High! High!

The Inspector, Dr. King and me...

2012-01-16T10:44:00.002-06:00

Gentle Reader,

So, yesterday was the anniversary of my Pop's passing. He left us in 1994, when I was all of 22. He was a contemporary of Dr. King; i'm not saying they were buddies or even knew each other (even though they had met) but they were both doing what they could for equal rights for all at the same time, just in different ways. If not for the things they were doing, from marching to filing suits against the unjust, to taking beatings at the hands of those who were sworn to protect them, I would be a very different person than I am today.

If Dr. King doesn't push for the Civl Rights Act and the Voting Rights act, then Mr and Mrs Loving don't decide to get married and then get arrested and then have the temerity to sue the state of Virginia and take that all the way to the Supreme Court. If that doesn't happen, I can't go and marry a girl from Wisconsin who is as white as snow and have the 2 prettiest children you have ever seen (that's not the proud dad in me talking, TJ does have the greatest head of hair in America, and no one is cuter than my Opie, just ask her...)

If the Inspector, and my mother, doesn't decide that he's always going to show his son what it means to be not just a man, but a gentleman, then I wouldn't ever be able to be the fraternity man that I am. I wouldn't be able to start to show my children how to be a parent. I wouldn't know what to do to have any type of success in this world, but thanks to the Inspector, I do.

Thanks to them both. I know they are watching down on me and I hope they are happy with what they see, not just from me, but from all of us.

I miss you, Pop. Kiss Mom for me

Marc...

Fighting frustrations - 60 days to a new me

2012-01-13T11:38:00.001-06:00

Gentle Reader,

There is nothing like a string of bad luck to make you realize that certain things frustrate you easily. In my case it's 3 major things all coming together as the perfect storm of yuck! My weight loss, my car, and my job. As I look at them right now, all of them are sucking and driving me to the point of losing it. For those of you that know me, you know I'm pretty calm and collected; striving not to raise my voice and yell unless necessary. But KD is trying to tell me that maybe I need a release valve, maybe I need to get angry more and "stand up for myself." So this is my start...

When it comes to the first week of weight loss, I've been pretty good. I've eaten breakfast everyday, I've been sensible about what I'm eating for lunch (no fast food, Yippee), I've been eating good dinners (thanks, KD for the pork chops and spinach) and I've been exercising (well, I've been walking to and from the L/commuting for work, but it's more than I was doing before so its a start. But its a struggle. I'm frustrated that I can't live on Gummy Bears, I'm frustrated that I can't drink more beer, and I'm frustrated with being fat.

I have to do something about it. It's not enough to just talk about it, I have to take action. Over the next 60 days, I'm going to figure out what exercise is going to take me to the next step in my journey. It might be boxing, it might be muay thai, it might be wrestling, it might be rowing, I have no idea yet, but its gonna be something.

Then there is my car. It must have been made under a bad sign or something, because since June, if it can go wrong it has. Let's review

Massive hail damage, including broken front and rear windshields
Brakes fail while on the road
blow out a tire
have a spin out on major expressway (hit the wall of the Dan Ryan)
bent a wheel
broke a tie rod and assembly

But, with the car, I have to look at the bright side. I have to thank God for Brothers like Mike Burrell and his wife, who loaned me the car when I didn't have a car to get to work and then sold it to me. I'm eternally grateful and he's shown me exactly what Brotherhood and membership in our Strong Band really means.

But I'm just frustrated. I hate taking the train (check that, a bus, a train, and then a drive or 2 more buses if my buddy/work wife couldn't pick me up) and I hate not being able to get what I need, when I need it. I hate not being able to see my gf after work since by the time I get home and try to get to her on the other side of the city, i'd have to turn around right when I get there. I talk to her everyday, but I miss her.

On this over the next 60 days, i'm going to have the car fixed and ready to go. I'm saving to get a newer vechicle and i'm planning to make that happen by the end of the year

I'm not going to get into my job other than to say I'm angry and frsutrated and I'm going to take steps to make changes so I'm not worried about my next meal or if I can pay a bill. Watch out world.

See ya soon

Back on the blog - Phat Guy for Phi Psi!

2012-01-10T10:04:00.004-06:00

Gentle Reader -

Sorry that I have been gone for so long. The world has been changing around me every day. One of my resolutions this 2012 is to write more...both about me and about things that make me who I am.

I've really decided to work on my weight. For those in the know, the name of this blog comes from the fact that, at one time, I was "One biscuit shy" of weighing in at 400lbs. Not good at all. Well, at least we're not there any more, but we still have a long way to go. I'm committed to losing the weight. I've started eating healthier, I've started to wean my self off of pop (or soda for your Easterners) and no more fast food (Opie isn't going to like that one). I'm starting weight watchers again, too. I've run in my first 5K (OK, let;s be real, "run" isn't honest - I finished and I shuffled, but I didn't run) where i dressed like Santa and I'm committed to running in a 1/2 marathon by the end of the year - training starts soon. Any and all help people want to give me (both positive and negative) is welcome. When I run that, I'm going to raise money for my fraternity, Phi Kappa Psi, specifically for the 2 chapters that I advise in Chicago. - More details to follow on that.

I'll be writing at least once a week about things that cross my radar, if not more if it warrants it.

See ya soon

Marc...

Where the hell have you been???

2011-09-13T19:16:00.001-05:00

That's right, Gentle Reader. I've been gone for a while. While gone tons of things have happened. Some are important (both kids had birthdays, I actually started making money at my job; took a trip to OH/KY where I had a lot of fun and also made some changes. Some were not my decisions alone, but some were definetely for my benefit. One of these things is that I've decided to start running. Its my goal to run a 5K by Christmas and run a 1/2 marathon by this time next year. I'm even going to make it a charity event. I'm going to call it Phat Guy for Phi Psi. Every donation is going to go to the Carlos Navarro Scholarship Fund. MY goal is to try and raise 5K for the marathon. I also plan to make a fair amount of money from people betting against me. I love when people try and steal your thunder and try and tell you what you can't do. It's times like this where people show themselves as yiour friend or your adversary. I'm not going to let them get in the way of my life. I've started training, slowly, by running and riding my bike to build up my endurance. My next step is to get into a training program and really get after it. I want this to be a catalyst for change. I know some of you are asking, "why now?" Well, the short answer is someone very dear to me sent me a quote from, of all people, Drew Carey. The funnyman was asked why he started running to lose weight. He said that you can't just go on trying to get to a pants size as a motivator - you need to set goals and bust through them. I was that guy, I was trying to simply set as a goal to make it so I could buy a pair of chinos at the GAP - That's a crappy goal. For one, the GAP isn't cool anymore, and 2) I needed more. I figure that if I make this happen, I'll raise some money, lose a bunch of weight, laugh at folks trying to serve me haterade and also have some fun in thr process. I'll try and write at least twice a week, and talk to you about my running and other things that cross my desk. Until then...
-- "Make no little plans...they do nothing to stir mens blood."

Who will fill the breech?

2011-01-22T17:35:00.003-06:00

As I was cleaning up my apartment (always fun with 2 kids under 6 under foot) I came across my Nametag from the 2010 GAC (my fraternity's convention). As I held it, my thoughts instantly went first to my friends and Brothers who are in AZ celebrating the life of our friend and Brother Dudley. I'm sure the service was grand in its simplicity and while there was, i'm sure crying, I'm also sure there was laughing. That's the kind of service that Dud would have wanted. The second thing that crossed my mind was this was the nametag of the last GAC Dud will ever attend bodily (he'll always be there in spirit, we know that). He signed it, as he's signed everyone of my nametags since 1992, in the same manner: Ralph D Daniel, AZ Alpha 1947 (let us be who we say we are...).

Think of the young undergradutes he touched when he met them the first time and gave them the grip (after he admonished them for altering it)that can go back and tell their Brothers - I met Dud. Think of our favorite game at the GAC Banquet where we stand to see who's been there the longest, and for the first time in my membership, Dud won't be there to win. Think of the people who will only know him as a quote - a quote he wrote, not to talk just about Phi Psi, but about all Fraternities - It's for us all.

You see, Dud, while he was first and foremost a Phi Psi, he was a FRATERNITY MAN. He believed firmly in the ideal of fraternity and what these men's and women's groups could do for their members and for their universities. One of the reasons that the interfraternity world saw him as "our" gentleman was his constant call for gentlemanly behavior and the idea that, while all of our Rituals might not be the same, they told the same story - be an honorable man, Love your friends, strive for excellence, and take care of each other.

This brings me to the title of my post today. Nature abhors a vacuum (unless its a Kirby-inside joke for my friend Momo) and so, as I write today, I wonder? Who will be the epedimy of fraternal gentlemanly behavior? Who will teach all of us, young and old, to always be considerate of our Brothers and Sisters, regardless of what letters they wear on their badge? Who will show our young men in Phi Kappa Psi? Luckily for us there are men that I know will fill in - Names of men that inspire me everyday, both as my peers and my mentors. Instantly I think of the pride of Kouts, IN...or my "Big Brother" who sings Oskee Wow-Wow. Perhaps the aforementioned Momo, or the scholar of Central Illinois, his hats and all. Perhaps its one of my favorite Cheeseheads, the historian or the preacher. Or maybe its my favorite southerner, who oozes charm and gentlemanly behavior.

In any case, while there will be a vacuum for a while, it won't be long before its filled. For that I'm eternally grateful, both to these men for being great men and to Dud for teaching us all.

Safe travels to all of my Brothers who made the trip to AZ and to all of my friends across the Fraternity and Sorority world, keep striving to make this world a better place.

Dad, Dr. King, Opie and Simba

2011-01-18T00:39:00.001-06:00

As we come to the end of another day celebrating Dr King and his vision and legacy, I always think of my father. As I mentioned on these pages, my dad died on the 15th of January. What I don't often talk about was my father and his place in the Civil Rights movement. He was a contemporary of Dr. King in some ways. A Child of the South, born just before the Depression, someone who bore witness to Jim Crow overtly and subvertly, he elegantly, like so many others in this country, silently and quietly fought against discrimination at every turn. Dad didn't win a Nobel Prize for peace, but he showed that a peaceful way to your ends is always the right way to go. Dr. King used the bully pulpit as a leader (not the leader) of the Civil Rights movement. Dad decided to use the courts, like hundreds of others, to ensure equality for himself and his children. He's one of my biggest heroes.

My dad always taught me that, when it comes to race relations and dealing with the ignorance and small mindedness of people, it's better to be like a duck and let that hatred roll off of your back. With few exceptions, I've done just that. More importantly, it's my mission in life that I don't have to teach my children the same things I had to learn - it's my hope that my children are judged by their merits, that they, as bright and beautiful as they are, never have to come home and ask why someone called them nigger; that they can visit any of their friends and not have to worry about the car lights being broken or having to fight their way out of a neighborhood in this awesome amazing city; that the idea of DWB (driving while black) is an urban myth.

Keep the dream alive, if only so our Children can make the dream a reality.

Posted via email from Marc's posterous

Best and worst weekend all at once

2011-01-14T11:40:00.002-06:00

This is why I Strive to be the best Fraternity man I can...He is who we all strive to be when we try to live our Creed. It's such a sad day for all of us that wear the Shield, and especially sad for those of us that call him Friend, Mentor, and Counselor.

I remember the first time I met him, in San Francisco at the 1992 GAC. I was a Colony member and it was my first GAC and I was as eager as a schoolboy getting his first bike. I was meeting as many people as I could and I met Dud. He walked up, saw my Colony pin (most don't know what it looks like) and gave me the Colony Grip, ever mindful that I was not ready to share in the bonds of Brotherhood. We talked and he gave me his address and told me to write if I ever needed anything.

My next most vivid time I recall meeting him occured at my Chartering. What made that special was that he met my father -my father who didn't want me to join a fraternity. After meeting Dud, Dad told me that he wasn't worried anymore, that I was in good hands because Dud was such a gentleman. That was the last big event my Dad and I went to together, as he was gone in less than 3 months (Jan 15)

I would see him more over the years at Fraternity events and new Chapter Charterings, each time me trying to learn more about the old days of Phi Psi, each time gleaning more about both Phi Kappa Psi and Dudley.

My last big memory of him comes from the day I was initated into the Order of the SC - He was the President, and for him to tell me I was a member was one of the most special days of my life. I'll never forget him giving me the grip and looking at me, and him telling me how happy he was that I was a member.

I've tried not to cry as I've written this post, but it's been hard. I will definetely raise a glass to Dud (vodka? a glass of chablis with ice? ) over the weekend

"Let us be who we say we are...a Fraternity not a Club; run by Men not boys, and based on Ideals not Expediency.

Dud, when you get to heaven, there will be a guy there, about 6 feet tall in an impeccable suit and a fedora. You'll feel you've met him, and you have. He's my dad. 17 years ago today he left us for a better place. He'll show you the way around the place. Tell him I said hi and I love him.

The cleanse

2010-11-18T09:04:00.001-06:00

Gentle reader,
As you might be aware, yesterday, thanks to the efforts of Jimmy Kimmel, was National UnFriend Day on Facebook. You could, without guilt, get rid of all of the people that you really don't talk to on this site, people that you signed up because you wanted to pad your stats, people who were cute and you met at the bar and then never spoke to again and people who just have ticked you off.

I did just that - My goal in my purge was simple - get under 1000 friends ( the next purge might be far more brutal, but it too needs to be done)

Bye, bars and clubs I'll never visit again. So long to the people that shill for special events and send me 15 events to answer a week. It's been real.

I loved it. Everyone should do it! just go and blow people up.

If you're reading this, then guess what, you made the cut and hooray. If not, I'm sorry... No hard feelings.

Posted via email from Marc's posterous

Happy Chapter Day Illinois Zeta!

2010-10-08T10:43:00.001-05:00

Hello Gentle Reader:

While I'm writing a longer post for this blog about some other things, I would be remiss if I didn't reach out to the over 200 men that have decided to stand with me as my Chapter Brother and celebrate our 17th anniversary. It has been a long road, full of trials and tribulations, happiness and sorrow, and love and hate. I thank each and everyone of you for helping me become the man that I am, and the man that I further aspire to be.

What a long way we have come from that fall, slightly cold morning when 29 of us, clad in our tuxedos, walked over to St. James Church and pledged ourselves to be lifelong companions in this journey. And we have done just that - we have travelled together, laughed together, cried together and be there in good times and bad. We have fought with each other and helped each other through the times that weren't as happy. But we've done that because that's what Phi Psis do. This is why we are the preeminent men's group at DePaul. This is why young men, over the last 17 years, have come to Lincoln Park and decided that they wanted to be a part of the Noble Fraternity. Men with names like DeFina, Schoefernacker, Reynolds, and Maza. Intelligent men named Hernandez, Medio, Hanichak, Trotter, Mattzela and Fenedick. Exuberant men named Mandel, Lieberman, Cavallo, Bill T, Wojtonik and Weaver. Pensive, thoughtful men named Spurlock, Haro, Harvey, Dimasi, and Condren (both versions 1 and 2). And everyone else that has, for no matter how long, called Illinois Zeta home.

Thanks also to all of those Brothers of Phi Kappa Psi across the country, from the time I was a bright eyed Colonist until now, that have guided me and allowed me to live and to flourish. Men like Knapp, Watt, Ong, Blazer, Kent, Harper (wow do I miss you, Terrry), Dud, Tryon, Chic,all the guys around the bend at dinner and my Fraternal Father, Nez (i could never thank you enough for all that you have done for me...and my contemporaries who strive, as I do to continue to live by the guiding principles set forth by Thomas Campbell over 150 years ago - Lee, Knacks, Dusty, Chaty, Hauck, Marks, Will H, Trig, Patterson, LeRoy, Ben, Luke, Hall, Nicky, Jon A, Rich Rozycki and his brother Tom, Poobah, and our ED, Collie.

Last but not least I want to thank all of the people in my life who have been a part of this amazing journey with me that are NOT my Brother...you have allowed me, and probably all of us in Phi Psi, the ability to be strong, intelligent men who want to do good in the world. To the women who took a leap of faith in college when it might have been social suicide to be seen with the new guys on campus to the ones that still talk to us to this day, thank you! The ladies of Phi Psi are indeed an amazing bunch, and without them none of us would be here, so my heartfelt thanks to you all.

As we move into year 18, I leave you with the most poignant modern words about our Strong Band:

"Let us be who we say we are...a Fraternity, not a Club; run by Men, not Boys; and based on Ideals, not Expediency."

Always In the Bond,

Marc A. S. Dumas (003...)

Posted via email from Marc's posterous

Happy Labor Day!

2010-09-06T10:29:00.001-05:00

Hello Gentle Readers!

I really need to get on a better schedule of writing this blog, and as such, actually start talking about things that matter.

That starts tomorrow - until then have a happy Labor Day!

Posted via email from Marc's posterous

Top ten things that shouldn't happen at formal this year

2010-06-04T13:08:00.001-05:00

Gentle Reader,
This time of year, at least at my alma mater, is time for young men to put on their best suits ( or their borrowed suits, or the suit they last wore when they were 4 inches shorter and 20 lbs lighter) and the young women they are trying to woo balance on platform heels that would make most experienced strippers fall while wearing a dress that will give them the ability to be "classy" and yet do moves on the dance floor that can't be seen except for on E!.

Due to the fun things that I've seen in my time as a Fraternity man, and as a Chapter Advisor, here are my top 10 things that I hope not to see if I were to "drop by" formal...
(note: all of these things are things I've either heard about or seen first hand)

-Falling asleep in your food - usually dinner is at 7 and I know that the kids now a days like to "Pre-Game" but keep it together liong enough to eat the food that will soak up some of that really cheap vodka you've been drinking

-Threats to jump off of balconies due to lost love - I know it hurts, but he/she isn't worth you, and it's one date but all that happens if you jump is a mess, and more paperwork for me and I hate making that call to "Nationals" and filling out the mountain of paperwork.

- vomiting in public places - i understand that, on nights like this, you are not buying that food and drink, simply renting it, but turn your rental back in somewhere privately. No one wants to see you do that, and while it's sort of funny to watch you hold your dates hair up (and quite endearing; that's true love) it's not something I really want to see

-you shirtless/pantless- I'm talking to you, frat boy! I know you have been working out in the student gym for the moment during your favorite grind song to show off your newly found abs, but stop it. You sell the idea to potential recruits and the campus at large as gentlemen. In this day of video everywhere, do you really want the reason you didn't get that awesome intership to be a video of you, shirtless, grinding on someone, put to a gay porn soundtrack (it happens)

-voyeuristic sex - it's formal, not a porno shoot. I shouldn't be able to walk into any open room (banquet hall, guest room, storage closet) and see you, sorority girl, coyly showing one boob, or you frat boy (probably my brother) trying to convince her that "just the tip" is OK. Really? Really? no. Get a room. Lock the door. Don't have a roommate, you cheap bastard. Don't be so loud that people think something bad is happening. Bring some music.
staying on sex...
-you not bringing protection and trying to use a myriad of things to replace a condom (toothpaste is still my favorite) If you do/did this, and your SO says it's ok, then you get what you get and godspeed.

-having an ass/bitch/douche as a date - I know that formal is the social event of the season ( i know of women that have gone to great lengths to snag an invite to my chapter's formal - at one time it was indeed the hottest ticket in town) but if you do get invited, remember that - you are an INVITED GUEST. Hopefully you wouldn't act like an idiot if invited to your date's family's house, so why do that here. Keep your clothes on (see above), handle your liquor, make sure you meet as many people as you can (you never know how that networking might work for you) and don't pee in the pool...

-not making it to the dinner/dance. It's the Holiday Inn Rosemont, not Vegas...make plans to hold your drinks to a point where you can walk, not fall down in elevators and actually have a conversation with your dinner companions.

-leave during the middle of the event. I know, the last thing you want to do is hear guys like me give speeches or, if you're a date, listen to who wins Brother of the Year, or Super Special Sister, but stay. You never know when your alums, intent on buying the room a few drinks, will show up and the room will be empty - BAD.

while I'm speaking of alumni, make sure that you recognize that, if you see alums of a certain age, with a woman (or a man), especially if that woman(man) has a ring on her left hand, that's probably their spouse. Make sure you say hello, and introduce yourself. Also don't exclaim that these "old people" are taking over/crashing your formal, and don't call them cougars or jaguars - very bad.

know what the dress code is - formal, at least in college, means semi formal. Find a suit and wear it. A cardigan doesn't cut it. Find a tie and wear that. Wear dress shoes, with dark socks. Do not dress like a pimp, unless you are one (If I ever walk into a formal and see someone wearing a suit out of one of the colors of the rainbow, understand that I will clown you, in front of your date, and then she'll leave with me, or one of your brothers that didn't bring a date

lastly, do not, fight your twin brother to the death, or cause anyone any bodily harm. Do not cause any bloodshed, and let's keep the police presence to a minimum. I don't want to have the potential of going to jail, or have to fill out paperwork, or call your parents.

All in all, have a good time.

IF you are reading this on facebook, please leave us your favorite formal story, embarassing or cute.

Marc...

Posted via email from Marc's posterous

Why are people losing their minds about 8th grade graduation

2010-05-24T11:37:00.001-05:00

Hello, gentle reader.
I'm sorry that I've been gone for so long, but I've been super busy. Since my last post, I've managed to leave my first apartment (lesson learned: if you know going in that someone is crazy, don't move in with them, no matter how nice it seems), live in a series of hotels (love the fact that I didn't have to clean behind myself, but got sort of claustrophobic after a while) lived with one of my best friends (who's daughter is the 2nd nicest little girl in the world for letting me live in her room all that time) and finally moved into what I think will be my PCS (permanent change of station) for the foreseeable future. Oh, and i got a new job as a Recruitment and Admissions Officer for a group of Charter Schools here in Chicago.

Along with that, I've tried to come to grips with being single, not seeing my children everyday, dating (i really need someone to honestly look at my match.com profile and tell me what is wrong-if you think you can help, ping me! please!) balancing work and life, and trying to win a baseball game or 2 with my high school team (we did OK - 13-1 in conference and 16-7 overall - playoffs start this Thursday - i can't wait ITS A GREAT DAY TO BE A WARRIOR!). That and keeping on my goal to lose as much weight as possible without getting crazy obsessive about the whole thing (in case you hadn't heard, between Ash Wednesday and Easter I lost 37 lbs. Woot! )

So why the title of my post? Well, in my position at school, my desk is located in the main office and I see a lot of stuff. What i saw today made me start this post. our 8th graders (our schools go from 6th to 12th grade in the locations that are at least 4 years old) and their families are losing their minds over tickets for graduation. People want to be able to invite everyone from mom and dad to their last cousin to see them accomplish this rite of passage - graduating 8th grade! A mother today was insisting to our Program Director (great guy - most laid back cat you could ever meet) how she had "professionals" coming to graduation practice and how she didn't want to be embarrassed...what sort of professionals? are there really people that are professional graduation runners - for 8th fricking grade??? WTH! That's not to mention the parade of cap and gown vendors coming into show their wares. Do we get Red and Grey robes or black - do we honor the kids on the honor roll or the Principal's list with tassels?

Please! this is truly a sign of why our kids are falling back - we give out glory and praise for the things they are supposed to be doing. (don't even get me started on the graduation I have to attend in August for my little one - from NURSERY SCHOOL) and then when something is truly amazing we blow it out of the water. When i finished 8th grade - we had graduation - we wore suits and dresses, we sang a song (Time to remember...) while they showed our baby pictures and some candids of the year. they gave out some academic awards and we got our diploma - that was it. No grand hoopla, no reserved seating (it was outdoors) and no hype because everyone was going to High school and everyone was going to graduate high school (that's when you throw the big deal) and go to college.

So for the love of all that's holy and good in the world, please stop this madness - I beg of you!

In other news, Congrats to the Wolfpack of Saint Ignatius for both their boys (3rd place) and girls (2nd place) water polo teams! Great season and Hail Ignatius!

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It's the most wonderful time...of the Year!

2010-04-05T09:51:00.001-05:00

It's opening Day! Next to my birthday, and right in front of Election Day, it's the best day of the Year! It's a chance to re-new, and hopefully my Sox will win the AL central behind the great pitching they have. Here's hoping

In other news since I've been gone for so long, I've back on the weight loss kick. For Lent this year, I gave up pop and candy and fast food. After my body dealt with the shock of no gummy bears for the past 47 days, I lost 25 pounds. I feel better, but my knee doesn't want to buy into this program. I think I'm going to do P90X starting in a few days, once i can get the money to afford it.

On the baseball team front, my team is 3-3 (we should be 5-1 or 4-2 at the worst) as we move into conference play. Our conference is weak, so we should do OK and get ready for the playoffs in 45 days!

Hopefully I will find somewhere to live this week as living in a hotel isn't the best way to go

See ya soon - Hope Butler pulls one out of the hat tonight!

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Life changes fast...

2010-02-17T15:41:00.003-06:00

So, today is Ash Wednesday. Millions of Catholics around the world are walking around their cities and towns with ashes on the foreheads, and thousands of others are walking up to them asking," Hey, do you know you have dirt on your face?" 40 days of this. Lent is supposed to be a time of reflection and reconciliation for the last year, and for your life, as we begin to celebrate the most holy day of the year- Easter - which we do by having out kids gorge themselves on chocolate bunnies and Peeps.

This year for Lent, I've decided to go back to the tried and true method of my youth and give something up. I've decided to give up pop and candy, and as an added bonus, give up eating at McDonald's. This means for me 2 things: 1)no gummi bears, which is my life source; 2) no red licorice during baseball games, which is what I chew instead of dip. This is going to be a long 40 days.

In other parts of my life that are changing, i'm moving in less than 15 days. Holy crap. not a lot of time to get 20 years of life into boxes while also splitting up the memories. In case you hadn't heard, my wife and I got divorced in January. I don't know what I'm going to do about that, and when I move out, I'll probably have a good cry about it and get really drunk, but it really hasn't hit me yet. Most of all, I don't know what to tell my daughter. I've got to come up with something quick.

So, I'm sorry if this post is depressing or something - i'll be back to funny soon

See ya around

Marc...

Lots of Balls in the air, let's hope none of them fall soon

2010-01-21T11:52:00.001-06:00

Hi, everybody. So it's that time of the year where everything is coming at me - Founder's Day for the fraternity is 30 days away, which means my bienniel decision on if I'm going to run for office for the National Fraternity. I'm leaning towards no, but I still have 30 days, or so, and then i have until late july to really make up my mind. Then I have my baseball team, who I have never met, who I need to hire coaches for yesterday, and for whom I need to go and really take stock of what we have in the inventory for things like balls, bats, etc. This is nuts. Lastly, my personal live has been going topsy turvy and I don't know what to do about that - life changes, people coming in and out of my life - the want for LAsiK, all of these things are going on and I have to get a grip on this stuff by March 1. The one good thing is the fact that I've started selling stuff - people are buying insurance and I'm making money.

More to come later

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New Year- New Posting

2010-01-04T16:36:00.001-06:00

Happy New Year!
As I said in my last post, I'm going to be committed to writing here more often.
I hope everyone hada great New Year's Eve/Day and is now focused on the new year. For me, that's about 4 things: Family, Work, Health, and Phi Psi.
Today is about work. My father told me that no one has ever drowned in a puddle of sweat. I've acted like I could drown in a second, and that's going to change. I'm really going to be focued to getting my career and my business off of the ground. To that end, I need your help. If you are one of the few people that actually read this blog, I need referrals for people that need insurance. If you send me a referral and they turn into a client, then I will send you a $100 gift card of your choice.
I know that it's not a lot, but I'm trying to get this moving, and I figured any little thing would help.

See ya soon - next post will be on Phi Psi

Marc...

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Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T10:34:00.001-06:00

OK, So I hope everyone had a great New Year's Eve last night. Mine was made awesome by watching someone who normally doesn't ever get drunk get so plastered that he had to go and sit in the car and go home before midnight! WOW. I'm not going to name names, but if you're in my fraternity, he's my chapter brother...if you've ever been out with me, you've probably met him

On to other things - I'm not going to make resolutions - I'm just going to do stuff
For example - one of my goals is to be able to buy clothes in a normal store by July 15; another is to hit a certain monthly sales goal; another is to spend more time with my children and have fun.

More to follow soon...

Glad you got to see me!
Marc...

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Olivia sings

2009-12-25T13:18:00.001-06:00

check it out here
http://gallery.me.com/marc.dumas#100232

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Happy holidays!

2009-12-14T11:16:00.001-06:00

I know that I haven't been around for a while, but I wanted to just say Happy holidays! i'll start posting about all that is going on in the next couple of days. Happy whatever you celebrate and Merry Christmas

A new Day - Happy Halloween!

2009-10-31T10:14:00.001-06:00

Since I've been gone for a while I, try and catch you up and still make this brief. I started a new job - I'm working as a Small Business Consultant - helping Small Business Owners, the self employed and individuals get the type of insurance coverage they need and deserve. I started on Tuesday and it's been a trip. the first day or 2 were mind numbing, but after I got throught that and got the the selling part, I really liked it. I think that I can make a lot of money, and more importantly, make a difference and help some people. You'll hear more about this from me later.
Also,I've started back up on my weight loss goals. I really want to get down under 250 by GAC next year. It won't be easy, but I think that I can do it. I just have to make the decision to not be a fat tub of lard any more. I want to be around for my children and if I keep getting fat, there is no way that's gonna happen.

In terms of Blogging/Twitter/etc - My goal is to blog here at least 2 times per week about what's going on in my life and tweet 2x/day If you are a reader of mine and want more, I'll give you more, but now here you go

That's all for now - Since Its halloween, I'm taking Opie and Simba trick or treating and I'll be back with pictures

See ya later

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for that guy in LA who says interracial marriage is wrong

2009-10-16T10:40:00.001-05:00

here's what you get from it - if that's the definition of wrong, i don't wanna be right

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Interracial couple denied marriage license in La. - Yahoo! News

2009-10-16T10:11:00.001-05:00

NEW ORLEANS – A white Louisiana justice of the peace said he refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple out of concern for any children the couple might have.

Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, says it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.

"I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way," Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. "I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else."

Bardwell said he asks everyone who calls about marriage if they are a mixed race couple. If they are, he does not marry them, he said.

Bardwell said he has discussed the topic with blacks and whites, along with witnessing some interracial marriages. He came to the conclusion that most of black society does not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society, he said.

"There is a problem with both groups accepting a child from such a marriage," Bardwell said. "I think those children suffer and I won't help put them through it."

If he did an interracial marriage for one couple, he must do the same for all, he said.

"I try to treat everyone equally," he said.

Bardwell estimates that he has refused to marry about four couples during his career, all in the past 2 1/2 years.

Beth Humphrey, 30, and 32-year-old Terence McKay, both of Hammond, say they will consult the U.S. Justice Department about filing a discrimination complaint.

Humphrey, an account manager for a marketing firm, said she and McKay, a welder, just returned to Louisiana. She is white and he is black. She plans to enroll in the University of New Orleans to pursue a masters degree in minority politics.

"That was one thing that made this so unbelievable," she said. "It's not something you expect in this day and age."

Humphrey said she called Bardwell on Oct. 6 to inquire about getting a marriage license signed. She says Bardwell's wife told her that Bardwell will not sign marriage licenses for interracial couples. Bardwell suggested the couple go to another justice of the peace in the parish who agreed to marry them.

"We are looking forward to having children," Humphrey said. "And all our friends and co-workers have been very supportive. Except for this, we're typical happy newlyweds."

"It is really astonishing and disappointing to see this come up in 2009," said American Civil Liberties Union of Louisiana attorney Katie Schwartzmann. She said the Supreme Court ruled in 1967 "that the government cannot tell people who they can and cannot marry."

The ACLU sent a letter to the Louisiana Judiciary Committee, which oversees the state justices of the peace, asking them to investigate Bardwell and recommending "the most severe sanctions available, because such blatant bigotry poses a substantial threat of serious harm to the administration of justice."

"He knew he was breaking the law, but continued to do it," Schwartzmann said.

According to the clerk of court's office, application for a marriage license must be made three days before the ceremony because there is a 72-hour waiting period. The applicants are asked if they have previously been married. If so, they must show how the marriage ended, such as divorce.
Other than that, all they need is a birth certificate and Social Security card.
The license fee is $35, and the license must be signed by a Louisiana minister, justice of the peace or judge. The original is returned to the clerk's office.
"I've been a justice of the peace for 34 years and I don't think I've mistreated anybody," Bardwell said. "I've made some mistakes, but you have too. I didn't tell this couple they couldn't get married. I just told them I wouldn't do it."

via news.yahoo.com

Are you kidding me - Glad this guy wasn't in Wisconsin 12 years ago or I would have been in a heap of trouble

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Back to work

2009-10-10T11:33:00.003-05:00

I need to get back to work on a lot of things - this blog, my life, losing weight, having fun, and being a productive member of society. I think I'm back on the right path - I got a new job. Sweet. Now if I can get my car fixed and start getting the rest of my life in order...life will be good

Rainy day in Chicago

2009-10-03T18:18:00.001-05:00

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the trials and tribulatons of interviewing

2009-10-02T08:51:00.001-05:00

So today i stat a big interview blitz - and it's off to the races with the family running late - nothing like your kids to put you in perspective when you're trying to get somewhere on time.
Eep

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TJ's presents come early

2009-09-05T13:38:00.001-05:00

The boy wonder got some presents early since his grandparents came early. Party is tomorrow

Sent from my iPhone
Marc...

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I need to come up with a name...

2009-09-04T11:10:00.001-05:00

...for TJ's party, and parties in the future. You see, we call Olivia's party oliviapalooza and she loves it and it has a nice ring to it. What do we call this one? Festival de Theodore? TEDFEST? Destruction time? (he likes to rip things apart - these kids couldn't be any more different if we tried - his latest is yanking the cable lines out of the wall). But it should be a good time for the kids. We're going to Gymboree, which allows the kids to run off some energy while the adults sit back and watch. i think I have camera duty, unless i can pawn that off on one of my fraternity brothers. Other than the clown (those of you that know me know that is one of the few phobias I have) it should be a hoot. And, when we are done, we can go for italian ice at mario's (the season is about to end soon) or even better, there's a bar next door!

Can you believe that it's been a year already? I can't

Thank you to my dear sweet wife for giving us this great gift. I love you little man...

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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I wasn't always fat...

2009-08-30T11:31:00.001-05:00

...but I was always a big kid. Just like my son now, (who's new nickname is Moose) I was a big boy. I went through phases where I was huskier than most of my friends ( yes I wore clothes in the husky department), but I also grew out of it thanks to a want to go to West Point and just genes. I've always had a big behind and big thighs, but at one point in my life I was, dare I say it, skinny.
Here's where you come in. I'll be giving a prize to whomever can send me a picture of my skinny self - If you have one. I'll post them here on my blog as they come in and you guys can vote.

Thanks

p.s. I'll get back to that skinny guy sooner rather than later, just you watch.

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Sorry i've been away for so long

2009-08-26T09:32:00.001-05:00

This time of year always gets me excited, now especially since I'm a grown up (allegedly). It's recruitment season for fraternity men and it's always interesting to see what new and exciting ways the fellas try and get people to become pledges. Over the next month or so I'll see it all - from root beer kegs to hooters to a myriad of other things. To all of my Brothers across the country - GOOD LUCK!

Also, I would like a chance to send a shout out to my good friend (heck, for all intents and purposes she's my big sister) Meg (she goes by Margaret now, but I have a note allowing me to call her Meg still) for 3 things.
1. She lost a bunch of weight and looks rockin'
2. She seems to have found happiness in the arms of her new man ( even though he doesn't talk much - maybe it was me)
3. She gave me an awesome book about love and marriage and life, and it truly changed my way of thinking.

For all of those things - thank you - You are the best!

Lastly, happy birthday to my little Brother, Reggie, who turned 25 on monday - keep striving to your dream, and when you get rich, you'll need a lackey and I'll be there

See ya around

Marc...

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my favorite foods/things - part 1

2009-08-12T11:25:00.001-05:00

So one of my friends asked me yesterday what I loved to eat - i responded food - i love most everything, but here are some of my favorites, and why - let the debate begin

Pizza - first off let me say I love Chicago Style pizza - not stuffed, true deep dish pizza. My favorite used to be Pizzeria Uno/Due downtown, before they sold out and became a chain that puts out bad stuff. Now I'm all about Lou Malnati's - the perfect blend of meat and cheese and it's so damn good. If i want thin crust pizza, i'll go up to the north side and get Pat's or out to the far south side and get Vito and Nick's, party cut, please (no wedges , squares)

Italian Beef - for those of you reading this from outside of Chicago and have no idea what an Italian Beef sandwich is, it's like a Philly cheesesteak, but different; it's like a french dip, but better and it's so food that i'll drive all over hither and yon to get a good one. For me the best, without question, is at Al's on Taylor Street. Great spice in the meat and the gravy and the hot peppers are so tasty. Get it dipped with hot and an order of fries and you're in heaven. the only thing that could make it better is to geta combo (they add a piece of Italian Sausage in the middle

Italian Ice - while Maro's is the best and always will be, there are others that I like a lot as well. Tom and Wendee's, Carm's, Icebox in Lakeview, but nothing's like Mario's. the crowds speak for themselves.

more foods coming - please feel free to comment

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My social experiment

2009-08-08T12:01:00.001-05:00

So, I'm going through a lot of stuff right now - the search for a new job, stresses at home; fighting a myriad of factors that are causing havoc in my life, and I wanted to stop and take stock of what's going on. I thought a good place would be to determine how the world sees me. Try and take an objective look at me through the eyes of my friends (and my enemies, and my frenimies) using the most viable social platform out there - Facebook.

I asked the question:

I would like you to tell me what about me made you decide to say, "I like him." It could be something funny; it could be something deep, or something in between. If you could do this for me, I'd be very grateful. (If the answer is nothing, or, I hate that SOB, well, that's fine, too as it will help me with my project)

and the responses I got were interesting - people talked about how genuine I was (and still try to be); people talked about how welcoming I am; my love and dedication for my fraternity; how good I strive to be for my friends, the fact that I'm easy to talk to and that I always have an ear for people.
Some people talked about my character and my concern for otehrs and I even got some people to talk about my politics and how I force others to look at both sides. Some talked bout the first time they met me and how I looked (my penchant for bow-ties, ect)

The best comment I got, though, was probably from the person who responded who knows me the least - I've only met him face to face 1 time for 2 days while he was interviewing me for a job. He said,

"There's a passionate and sincere tone in your voice when you talk about the things you love ... your family, fraternity, friends... I appreciate that you live your life with a servant's heart. You're a gentleman"

That quote alone really made me take stock in who I am, and who I had become lately. It's my hope moving forward that I live up to that quote, because if we all do, we'll live in a much better place. What it really made me do was become dedicated to getting off of my ass and really getting to work. If people see me as that person then I have to be that person and live up to the ideals that are there.

that's all for now - see ya soon

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Something that might help you this year

2009-08-06T12:39:00.001-05:00

NOTE - if you don't care at all about fraternities, or think they are stupid, today's post isn't for you - we'll be back with something else for you in the next couple of days.

So, one of the blogs i read often is from my friends at Phired Up Productions. They ae in the fraternity and sorority recruitment business and generally great people. This is their blog from today and I thought that it really struck a cord with me about how our undergrads act sometimes and how we can help them get past being that awkward turtle
they are located at www.phiredup.com

Do youhave members who flail about socially like awkward turtles? Of course you do. You might even be one of them. One of the greatest gifts you can give one of these AT’s is the gift of social confidence and energy.

One of the reasons I’m so proud of what Phired Up does is because college students have limited opportunities in their formal education to learn good communication and sales skills. These are arguably the most vital skills to master if one wants to be successful in relationships, work, organizations, etc. after college — yet our institutions of higher education, in general, do a poor job of building positive communication habits in their students.

We can talk about recruitment strategies until we’re blue in the face, but if you’re an absolute social dud, if you’re awkward to the point of making others uncomfortable, if you can’t summon confidence and energy in yourself in social situations… well, we need you to improve yourself before we can improve your recruitment.

I recently did a powerful workshop with a group of fraternity men in which I demonstrated the power of bringing CONFIDENCE and ENERGY to a social situation. As we push the collegiate student organization world toward social excellence, a great place to start is by building their CONFIDENCE and ENERGY. What are you doing to build the CONFIDENCE and social ENERGY of your members?

Social Energy

I would argue that the energy you bring to a social situation is your own choice. After you read this post you’ll no doubt engage in some social situation… what energy will you bring to that. Will you be aloof, tired, bored, average, nice? Or will you be powerful, engaging, interested, fun, warm, inviting? It is your choice, I think…

The Myth of Cool

I learned long ago the power of taking off your “Cool Cap.” Cool Caps get in the way of social excellence. It has become commonly accepted that people who are good socially are the traditional “cool” people. I strongly argue that. I think socially excellent people are often not obviously”cool.” They don’t try to impress other people — other people are naturally impressed by how confident they are in themselves and the positive energy they bring with them to every social interaction. If you don’t think you’re cool, that’s o.k. It has nothing to do with being socially excellent. In fact, most “cool” people I know think they can lean on their coolness in social situations… they often miss out on experiencing social excellence.

Social Confidence

CONFIDENCE comes from practice. Plain and simple. To become confident socially, check out the lessons in these great non-Phired Up resources. Most of these are blog posts, and there are two big downloads that can be really helpful.

Share the lessons from these resources with your members — THEN PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE!

The Positivity Blog: 8 Tips from the last 2500 years

The Positivity Blog: 5 Awesome and 5 Awful Conversation Topics

AskMen.com: How to Improve Your Social Skills

Penelope’s Trunk: Three Specific Ways to Improve Your Social Skills

Dale Carnegie: Communication Principles Free Download

The 7 Challenges Workbook: Free 100 Page Book Download

3 Steps to Making Socially Excellent Awkward Turtles

Here are three important stepsforyou to use to turn the Awkward Turtles in your organization into socially excellent members (who can recruit!):

STEP 1 - CHOOSE EXCELLENCE and ENERGY: The first step is to challenge your members on the choices they make in every social situation. What do they choose to be? Shy or Proud? Inward or Outward? Cool or Curious?Ask them todefine with a single word whatenergythey’d like to exude in that social situation. Ask themhow theywant the other people there to describe them after the social situation.

STEP 2 - PRACTICE IN REALITY: Many peopleget excited about the idea of role-playing social situations so that people can practicebeing sociallyexcellent.This is a fine way to start to build confidence, butnothing replaces reality as the ultimate testing ground. The truly best way to practice good social skills is to do it in real situations. Start by taking your awkward turtles somewhere that they’ll know nobody and nobody will know them. This offers a low-risk opportunity to experiment with new social techniques. Next, try it with some other organizations you’re friendly with and who might benefit from helping their awkward turtles as well. Finally, jump right into a real life social situation (or recruitment situation) and be there with your little turtles the whole time, correcting their behavior, encouraging them, and helping them build their confidence.

STEP 3 - KEEP IMPROVING: Social excellence is not mastered in the course of a day, a week or a year. Social excellence is a commitment to continual improvement and always pushing your own comfort zone. As an organization, make it one of your main accomplishments each year to push your members to higher levels of social excellence.

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My political bent

2009-08-04T22:27:00.001-05:00

My Political Views I am a center-left social moderate Left: 1.21, Libertarian: 0.37 http://www.gotoquiz.com/politics/political-spectrum-quiz.html">Political Spectrum Quiz</a>

It's right where I thought I would be - center left; socially/culturally liberal, financialy centrist and hawk on nat. security - Just where I like it

More tomorrow about my facebook social experiment

See ya soon - MASD

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Race, changes of life, and Phi Psi - RIP Carlos

2009-07-30T13:39:00.001-05:00

As most of my readers know, I'm a member of the Phi Kappa Psi Fraternity. I'm one of the Founding fathers of my Chapter, and i'm the Chapter Advisor to 2 chapters in the area. I'm but one of a handful of "minority" members, both of my own Chapter, and of the fraternity at large. Of the over 200 initiates of my chapter we have less than 15% minority participation. Until I ran for National office at our last convention, no minority had ever run for a national alumni office before. i was the Obama of Phi Psi (even though to anyone with an ear for history i would tell I'm more Barbara Jordan than Obama). I lost that election, but it was close. What I really did was fling the door open for people behind me, and me too, to go and try and win. I thought about that in the wake of 2 things that have happened over the last 2 weeks - the whole Obama/Gates/Cambridge cop thing, and the death of one of those minority members of my Chapter, Carlos Navarro.

I'm really sad about Carlos. He was a good man and I was proud to call him my Brother. He wasn't the first Hispanic member of the Chapter (that distinction goes to my buddy Jaime, another Founder), but he was probab;y the first hispanic member who had a choice. He could have joined one of the 2 latino organizations that were on campus at the time, but he chose to walk with us. Once when he was a pledge, he sought me out. He was taking flak from "his people" and didn't know what to do. he was thinking about quitting. He was also just nervous. We went and had a gatorade together in the cafeteria and i talked to him. I tried to tell him that Phi Psi would be good for him; that the bond that you forge here will help him for the rest of his life. That his Brothers didn't care what color his skin was, just that he lived up to the principles of our Order - loyalty, Brotherhood, and Service. I told him my story: how when starting the chapter, members of the Black fraternities and soroities questioned my blackness, and those who didn't do that overtly simply shunned me, unitl I showed them that I was doing something bigger than the pettiness they were bringing.

Carlos left that meting and decided to really strive to make Phi Psi the best chapter on campus. He dove head first into our Ritual and was always the first to sign up for community service. Watching him made me proud to call him my Brother. He understood that he could be his own man with us, and we'd always love him.

How does this deal with race, and what's the tie into the beer summit today? Simply put, while race is something that we deal with all of the time, and something that pervades our culture and influences a lot of how people act, or walk, or talk or think, Its really about individual choice and how YOU deal with race and racist behavoir that makes you the person that you are. Dr. Gates got angry - on that day he decided that he wasn't going to take it anymore; President Obama made a mountain out of a molehill; and when race enters Phi Psi - unless its some moron calling me N----r, I tend to let it wash off of my back. Carlos was the same way. i watched him get called everything but a child of God by his Brothers, much like I had some 15 years ago, and I watched him smile through it all. i watched as other Latinos/Latinas, got angry for/with Carlos for not striking back, and he calmly explainging how the people were his Brothers, and they would never say any thing with malice. But I also saw him angry when it wasn't meant to be funny, and he handled it with grace and the honor expected of him.

Carlos, you will surely be missed. My parents tell me that you'll like it where you're going, and when you get there, make sure you thank Letterman, Moore and Tom Campbell for all that they've given us.

Posted via email from Marc's posterous

I want google voice and (pic) the reason I get up in the morning

2009-07-28T09:20:00.001-05:00

So Google has come out with this new app called voice that lets you put everything voice (vm, calls, etc) in one place. It's going to allow me to forward everything to the same spot and i'm super excited, but ATT just threw it off of the iPhone which is soooo bogus. More to come on this developing news

In other news, Simba (my 11 month old- not his real name of course) actually walked this morning so I'm pretty stoked about that - here's a picture.

I hope my week gets better - it started off pretty crappy

see ya soon

Posted via email from Marc's posterous

Posterous | Re: My First Blog Post

2009-07-27T17:10:00.001-05:00

Today's Question:
Should prostitution be legal in the majority of America? If yes, why? If No, why not?

It's my opinion that, assuming the prostitute in question is there of their own free will, and not via coercion, that it should be legal. It should be taxed and monitored, and the providers should be tested regularly and there you go. Looking forward to people's answers.

Posted via email from Marc's posterous

Baseball's over - for now

2009-05-26T10:24:00.003-05:00

So, many of you know that I coach a high school baseball team. We aren't very good, but we go out and try and we got progressively better as the season went on. This is my second year as a head coach, and it doesn't get any easier. This year we were 8-21, which was an improvement over last year. We got some good players and we have a kid that, if he puts in the work, is going to be special - so much so that he was the MVP this year as a Freshman.

We had our regional championship this weekend (for those of you readers that are out of state, or used to other formats, in most parts our regionals would be equivalent to your sectionals) and we lost 9-7. I won't bore you with the minutia of the game other than the bomb my CF hit onto Michigan Ave to get us within 2. lord knows we got close, but couldn't get over the hump. I wanted to win so badly, but it wasn't to be. I finish this year knowing that my 7 seniors are in the top 12 in their class and all are going to good schools next year.

see ya around campus

About a dozen shy now

2009-05-12T10:30:00.004-05:00

So, As readers of this blog know, it started out as my journal of my weight loss trip. That stated out as a bet between my fraternity brothers and I on who could lose the most weight (percentage) by our biannual convention last year. I lost. but not by much, but it helped me start to work on getting fit. I joined a gym, I stopped eating McDonalds and pretty much gave up pop and beer. That got me to lose all of 10 lbs. I was pissed. But, i'm happy to report that I have, since 1/15/08 lost 46 lbs. That rocks.

What have I been doing? Well, i'm been eating less and also trying to work out at least 3x/week. I don't always succeed, but i don't let that little setback get in the way of my goal. I've got a long way to get to where I want to be (not shopping in big/tall stores), but I think that I can get there, and without the surgeon's scalpel. As always, I thank my friends and my family for their support, and for Olivia's biting comments that make me go to the gym (Daddy, you're the biggest Brown Bear I've ever seen...)

So you can follow me on twitter

2009-04-29T10:22:00.000-05:00

http://www.twitter.com/masdumas

It's been a long time

2009-04-29T10:06:00.001-05:00

So I'm now going to really try and be committed to writing on my blog about 2x/week. I know that I said that during lent, and I failed at that, but I think I can do this. I'm still losing weight (down about 35 lbs over all, but no where near my goal weight. My pants fit better and people notice it in my face, so that's a good thing.

I went to my 20th high school reunion last weekend and it was, to say the least, a blast from the past. It was funny to watch some things occur:

People falling back into their old cliques from high school
No real deep conversations -almost every conversation that I either heard or participated in went like this, " Hi. its so good to see you. are you married? do you have any kids?" and moved from there - either into parent zone, or sort of scorn for those who haven't borne any fruit... unless they were living some fab life, and we had some of those.
people still holding on to whatever baggage they had in HS, and the amazement that they brought it with them to the reunion

It was also funny to watch the backhanded compliments I received for my children and how damn attractive they are. Nothing like some girl you went to high school with, who didn't have time for you then saying to you, "who's the father of those children, because they are too cute to be yours. ha ha ha." That's always a good time. Glad my wife wasn't there - she might have hurt someone.
That's all for now, see ya soon

2009-02-26T09:13:00.002-06:00

So I've been playing with my webcam and Coming up with some interesting stuff - take a look and tell me what you think

On other fronts, my life is getting better - I'm losing weight ( i think it's the whole "putting less food down the piehole theory" and getting ready for baseball. I've started talking to someone every week about the things that are holding me back and getting me ready to push forward. I'm excited.

One of my goals for lent is to post something here and on my other blogs at least once a week. It'll make the creative side of me move better. see ya on the flip side!

25 things you didn't know about me

2009-02-01T12:35:00.001-06:00

So this sort of thing has been floating around Web 2.0 for a while, so I thought I'd send it to you and there you have it.

1. My Siblings range in age from 26 to 66

2. I learned to drive on a tractor in OK at age 11

3. I carry 3 kennedy half dollars - 1 from 1971, 1 from 2005 and 1 from 2008. and the 1971 piece was carried by my dad everyday until he died.

4. If I could eat only 3 things for ever, they would be Pizza, Italian Beef sandwiches and gummi bears

5. Holly, and only Holly, can tell me this joke and make me laugh - "What's Brown and Sticky?"

6. I'm deathly afraid of clowns

7.I'm the only person in the history of St. Ignatius to be confirmed and take first communion in the 5th floor chapel

8. I have most of the songs on those late-night TimeLife "Glory and Praise CD collections" (I can only imagine; our god is an awesome god) on my ipod and play them at full blast in my car

9. Once, while coaching girls basketball, i made a girl cry simply by pointing.

10. I love Hootie and the Blowfish - I mean like have all of their albums, like long after their were popular.

11.I have at least 1 friend in each of the 50 states

12. My 3 favorite days are: My birthday, Baseball Opening Day and Election Day

13. I have 2 middle names

14. I own over20 bowties

15. In 37 years, I've never gone more than 10 months without having a room mate

16. I love fruity, sweet "girly" drinks

17. My secret dream job is to have my own radio talk show like Roe Conn

18. I know the school Mascots of all 119 D1 football teams

19. I laugh hysterically when I see a dog chasing its own tail

20. I read at least 1 book per week cover to cover

21. My secret crush is Stacy London from TLC's what not to wear and I want to be Clinton Kelly

22. I can recite all of the Schoolhouse Rock rhymes (I'm just a bill...)

23. I played gold against Eldrick C. Woods and Lost my ass

24. I love Hats

25. I would love to live in a hotel for a year

A new day is here!

2009-01-20T09:51:00.001-06:00

So today is the inaugration of Barack H. Obama. Today we see the change we so richly seek and the destiny of a lifetime fulfilled. For me, it means so much more than just the election of a Black man to the highest office in the land. Today brings the knowledgethat I can look at my 2 children, full of hope and truth and light, and tell them that there is nothing that they cannot achieve.

As the grandson of a man lynched for simply wearing the uniform of his country, a country that he risked his life for countless times - today is special. As the son of a man that, in order to continue to work for a country he loved so much, had to go to court just to achieve that priveledge, today is amazing. As a young man who has been given every opportunity to showcase his potential and sometimes failed miserably, this is a new dawn.

I stand before my friends, family and my God to tell you that today starts a new Chapter in My Life. Marc 2.0 if you will. Many things will stay the same, but over the coming year you will see many new changes. Some of you might cringe at what you see, but know that its all for the best. Some of you might decide that you don't want to "opt-in" to the new Marc...and that's OK too. We've had a good ride and all of you have helped me get this far on my journey.

Enjoy the spectacle of what we, collectively, are about to witness today. We won't see anything like this for a long time.

Marc...

Catch up with me

2008-12-10T09:14:00.001-06:00

SO... it's been quite some time since I've blogged here. What's been going on?
Changed jobs, twice
Had a baby
Almost got a divorce
got so far in debt I still don't know what to do

Thats about it.

Since I've been gone (fat, baseball, race, hookers, etc)...

2008-03-20T12:22:00.004-06:00

...the world has turned all topsy turvy. Let's start with me. I'm still on the weight loss train and chugging along at a nice pace. I've had a few setbacks, and I've made some excuses as well, but i'm committed to this so I can't be a chump. I'm going to start ramping it up in April and May cause I want that dough. Plus I'll have a little time on my hands.

As faithful readers already know, my current position runs out on April 2, so what's a Brotha to do? I'm not going to tell you yet, but it'll be big.

My baseball team is getting better. Opening day is only 2 days away, assuming we're not in the middle of a blizzard on saturday morning. All of the pieces are in place, we just have to take it one game at a time (and every other cliche I can think of). Here is their current picture.

Nice looking bunch of guys, huh.

In other news, let's talk about Obama and his "fun" with his pastor. It's my opinion that he did what he's supposed to do. His speech was great and he decided to broach the subject of race in America. I've been reading a lot on both sides about this, and the thing that cracks me up is when those that oppose him say that he's been a part of a "racist" church and shouldn't be associated with a racist tend to forget that Bush took a endorsement from the guys that run Bob Jones U, who say that interracial relations are a sin against humanity; (that sounds pretty racist, right?), Bill Clinton is a Southern Baptist, a denomination that has 2 wings, one for Blacks and one for Whites since the Whites refused to let Blacks take part. no one talks about that. Or the fact that the Catholic Church segregated itself at every level until the early 1980s and in some cases still do by order of the local bishop! When I was in college, I went on a service trip to Mississippi to help build houses. I had to sleep on the floor of the rectory because the "Christian families" that were sponsoring the service project didn't allow black people into their houses unless they were the help. "If I were to let that colored boy live here (yours truly), i'd have to burn the sheets when he left." I'm not bitter, but I have an understanding of race that a lot of people don't. There's nothing like having your hand extended to shake your future father-in-law and it just sit there, and have to wonder if its because he doesn't like you (impossible, everyone likes me) or doesn't like your color. Luckily I didn't let that stop me and now we actually get along (even though he is a Repub)

Next up, How could Eliot Spitzer be so stupid??!!??WTF? if you made your bones busting prostitution rings, you have first hand knowledge on how they work. Why would you do that? go see an independent? set up a deal. do something, but not a escort service. and let's talk about her. Cute, dare I say hot, but 4K hot??? not really. Plus, if you know anything about that sort of thing (not that I do, I just have friends) she's only getting about 1K of that money. maybe 2. sad. Plus, don't make your wife do the equivalent of the perp walk - it's bad enough that you got caught, then you made her look even dumber than she already did by standing there.

That's all for now. I'll blog after Easter (fun with the family - that's going to be so much fun since my sister goes to Trinity UCC, and we're really political) and my first baseball game.

Marc

Most people have a desire to look for the exception instead of the desire to become exceptional.

2008-03-03T07:55:00.000-06:00

I'm off to Florida this week with the family at Casa Guzman south (for those in the know, the Compound is up North,dere, and even though they are Polish instead of Spanish I don't know how to say house in polish, so there you go.) It should be relaxing, other than my mother-in-law fawning over OPD and everyone worrying that HG is ok since she is pregnant. I'll get to play some golf, go watch some spring training, probably do some outlet mall shopping and also do my fantasy draft remotely. Good times.

So, the weight loss challenge is moving along nicely. I don't really know what my competetion is doing, but I'm get it done. I've lost 20 lbs since the start and my clothes are actually loose. Yippee!! Baseball started last week and I'm already beat. There's so much to do and not enough time to do it all, but we'll get it done. I'm confident that we can make it happen.
Speaking of making it happen, how about Obama getting it done in OH and TX?

That's all for now. See ya soon.

"Service is the rent we pay for living in this world."

Change your Life Day

2008-02-19T11:16:00.002-06:00

So yesterday was the 15th anniversary of my Mother's passing in 1993.

I'm using that as a catalyst to change my life, as that day did in 1993. Especially since she once told me that the reason she picked me out of all the other babies to adopt, was because I was destined to be an agent of change. Now I know with Barack and everyone else talking about change that sounds like a lot of hooey, but I beleive it.

As you've seen, i've started the change process already. More things are coming, both in my work life (even though that change was made for me, how I'm handling it and what will happen as I move forward is all about my decisions to affect change), my baseball team, my fraternity life (working on a new presentation about diversity, Greek Life and the 21st century; thinking about running for national office). Keep posted to the same bat channel for more. I will get what I want in this world becuase I will work for it and I deserve it.

To my Brothers in Phi Kappa Psi, Have a Happy Founders Day!

Marc...

Why the gym both sucks and is awesome

2008-02-11T16:26:00.000-06:00

First the awesome parts - open 24 hours, kid care for only $7, trainer is awesome, lots of fun people watching (the best - woman with Trainer who puts a leash type belt on woman and then has her run through the gym floor while he pulls back) and most of the women aren't ugly - even the one that is built like Hellga on American Gladiators (so glad that show is back on).

What sucks - treadmills, elipitacal machines and other death implements. My knee is going to fly off at the cap, but i have to keep it up, even when I get frustrated. Can't I just do like Homer Simpson and pull all the fat to the back of my body and use large clothespins...jeez this is hard.

History in the Making!

2008-02-06T12:49:00.000-06:00

So Super Tuesday was...wait for it...Super? Well it was for me. I got to take my daughter to vote. She was in the booth with me and I she voted for most of the judges, and she even picked out Barack (i know it was luck - but i call it karma). All in all it was pretty cool and when she's 18 and about to vote for the first time, I can tell her when she did it when she was 2.

On the politics side, it looks like I'm going to get my dream scenario: a Brokered Convention. The news pundits won't know what to do, but they should be happy becuase it will be better than any drama they could put out. With Hillary and Bill winning the big states and Barack winning the most states it'll be interesting to see how their groups spin this. But did you see the both of them speak last night. Hilary either needs to invest in a teleprompter or ask her staff for more lead time - she was reading more than she was speaking; As for Barack - he was awesome! His cadence is that of a teacher/preacher and it draws you in. Looking forward to the fun to come.

Also, kudos to McCain for tweaking the tail of his party (Rush, Ann "I need to get laid" Coulter, et al) and making them madder by busting Mitt's behind last night. Also good show by the Huck and Chuck crowd as well.

Lastly, I've lost weight, but i need to lose more. My first milepost event (black tie dinner) is in less than 3 weeks.

See Y'all soon.

Marc...

It's getting wackier by the minute

2008-02-02T10:51:00.000-06:00

So I found out that people are actually reading my blog - that's cool! I've gotten lots of support from people about this journey.

So yesterday I go and meet my trainer for the first time. I is a little hispanic dude with braces but he's riding the no BS express. He had me doing exercises and everything becuae he wants to help me reach my goal (and the cash that I'm paying him doesn't hurt either (memo to self - either start day care or personal training - cash cow) I thought my knee was going to pop off, but he kept me going - and who knew I could do 40 crunches in a minute?!

Lots more to come - including fun at work and the upcoming layoff!

WW and the gym

2008-01-29T11:38:00.000-06:00

So yesterday, Monday, I went and made 2 steps in my attempt to lose weight - I joined Weight Watchers (online - I'm not going to meetings) and I joined a gym. Holly (my wife - you'll hear more about her later) was on WW back in the day and it worked for her. Me, I'm a little skeptical, but I'm going to try and work the plan. The hardest thing for me is going to be be portion control. It really hurts me to leave food on my plate when I've paid good money for it.

I also joined a gym. I joined a 24 hour place near Maison Dumas in the South Loop. It's pretty cool, although I've already almost left OPD (the daughter) in kid care. More on that after my first real trip and my first meeting with Issac, the TRAINER.

I know that this is for the best, but hell, it's going to be hard. If people have any thoughts, they can bring them here.

cya later

How this all started...

2008-01-29T11:27:00.000-06:00

As I've said earlier, I'm a big boy. I'm the healthiest fat guy in the world. I have great cholesterol, I'm not diabetic and my blood pressure is only slightly elevated. So what. So I'm tired of being a big guy - tired of automatically asking for the seat belt extender on planes; tired of searching a new room for the chair that's not too delicate so I don't break it. Tired of buying clothes at Casual Male XL (otherwise known as Mellon Tall and Fat - Back to School).

So I sent out an e-mail to some of my fraternity Brothers (I'm a member of Phi Kappa Psi - Chapter advisor for 2 chapters and I've helped start 3 groups in IL) who were also big guys and suggested a bet. We'll all get on the scale and whoever loses the most weight, percentage wise, will each get $100 from each person. For me it was simple-hit the trigger of my vice - gambling (one of my vices, but it would be bad to use food as a reward and porn wouldn't have gone over well with the 1 female in the bet) and I'll lose weight. So there are 8 of us, so winner takes home $700 profit. The contest goes from now until the open of GAC in late July, so I think I can get it done.

The weigh in was really funny. Guys were trying to bulk up before the weigh in, eating far too much food and just throwing it down their gullets like we were feeding a goose for pate.

Let's get it started

2008-01-29T11:17:00.001-06:00

Welcome! This is to be the first of many entries as I talk about my life and about things that I think are important - if you think that just sounds like it's my soapbox, you're right, but you can respond if you like and we can debate once and a while as well.

While I'll probably talk about a variety of topics (Baseball, coaching kids, college basketball, golf - gotta love that guy Eldrick - , poker, politics, shoes, clothes and my views on the American Fraternity) the bulk of what I write about will be about my quest to lose weight. You see, I'm fat. Not need a forklift to move fat, or breaking chairs fat (even though I've done that, but not for a while), but I'm a big boy. I'm not going to tell you my weight, at least for now, but i will tell you my successes and my failures. I'll talk about what works for me and the fun of trying to figure out how to get the things I love (gummi bears anyone??) and still get to my goal weight of 199. Really its not about a goal weight, but about a goal size: I want to be able to buy pants at the Gap!

So with that being said, here we go. I hope you come along for the ride and feel free to comment.