The cleanse

Gentle reader,
As you might be aware, yesterday, thanks to the efforts of Jimmy Kimmel, was National UnFriend Day on Facebook. You could, without guilt, get rid of all of the people that you really don't talk to on this site, people that you signed up because you wanted to pad your stats, people who were cute and you met at the bar and then never spoke to again and people who just have ticked you off.

I did just that - My goal in my purge was simple - get under 1000 friends ( the next purge might be far more brutal, but it too needs to be done)

Bye, bars and clubs I'll never visit again. So long to the people that shill for special events and send me 15 events to answer a week. It's been real.

I loved it. Everyone should do it! just go and blow people up.

If you're reading this, then guess what, you made the cut and hooray. If not, I'm sorry... No hard feelings.

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Happy Chapter Day Illinois Zeta!

Hello Gentle Reader:

While I'm writing a longer post for this blog about some other things, I would be remiss if I didn't reach out to the over 200 men that have decided to stand with me as my Chapter Brother and celebrate our 17th anniversary. It has been a long road, full of trials and tribulations, happiness and sorrow, and love and hate. I thank each and everyone of you for helping me become the man that I am, and the man that I further aspire to be. 

What a long way we have come from that fall, slightly cold morning when 29 of us, clad in our tuxedos, walked over to St. James Church and pledged ourselves to be lifelong companions in this journey.  And we have done just that - we have travelled together, laughed together, cried together and be there in good times and bad. We have fought with each other and helped each other through the times that weren't as happy. But we've done that because that's what Phi Psis do. This is why we are the preeminent men's group at DePaul. This is why young men, over the last 17 years, have come to Lincoln Park and decided that they wanted to be a part of the Noble Fraternity. Men with names like DeFina, Schoefernacker, Reynolds, and Maza. Intelligent men named Hernandez, Medio, Hanichak, Trotter, Mattzela and Fenedick. Exuberant men named Mandel, Lieberman, Cavallo, Bill T, Wojtonik and Weaver.  Pensive, thoughtful men named Spurlock, Haro, Harvey, Dimasi, and Condren (both versions 1 and 2). And everyone else that has, for no matter how long, called Illinois Zeta home.

Thanks also to all of those Brothers of Phi Kappa Psi across the country, from the time I was a bright eyed Colonist until now, that have guided me and allowed me to live and to flourish. Men like Knapp, Watt, Ong, Blazer, Kent, Harper (wow do I miss you, Terrry), Dud, Tryon, Chic,all the guys around the bend at dinner and my Fraternal Father, Nez (i could never thank you enough for all that you have done for me...and my contemporaries who strive, as I do to continue to live by the guiding principles set forth by Thomas Campbell over 150 years ago - Lee, Knacks, Dusty, Chaty, Hauck, Marks, Will H, Trig, Patterson, LeRoy, Ben, Luke, Hall, Nicky, Jon A, Rich Rozycki and his brother Tom, Poobah, and our ED, Collie.

Last but not least I want to thank all of the people in my life who have been a part of this amazing journey with me that are NOT my Brother...you have allowed me, and probably all of us in Phi Psi, the ability to be strong, intelligent men who want to do good in the world. To the women who took a leap of faith in college when it might have been social suicide to be seen with the new guys on campus to the ones that still talk to us to this day, thank you! The ladies of Phi Psi are indeed an amazing bunch, and without them none of us would be here, so my heartfelt thanks to you all.

As we move into year 18, I leave you with the most poignant modern words about our Strong Band:

"Let us be who we say we are...a Fraternity, not a Club; run by Men, not Boys; and based on Ideals, not Expediency."

Always In the Bond,

Marc A. S. Dumas (003...)

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Happy Labor Day!

Hello Gentle Readers!

I really need to get on a better schedule of writing this blog, and as such, actually start talking about things that matter.

That starts tomorrow - until then have a happy Labor Day!

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Top ten things that shouldn't happen at formal this year

Gentle Reader,
This time of year, at least at my alma mater, is time for young men to put on their best suits ( or their borrowed suits, or the suit they last wore  when they were 4 inches shorter and 20 lbs lighter) and the young women they are trying to woo balance on platform heels that would make most experienced strippers fall while wearing a dress that will give them the ability to be "classy" and yet do moves on the dance floor that can't be seen except for on E!.

Due to the fun things that I've seen in my time as a Fraternity man, and as a Chapter Advisor, here are my top 10 things that I hope not to see if I were to "drop by" formal...
(note: all of these things are things I've either heard about or seen first hand)

-Falling asleep in your food - usually dinner is at 7 and I know that the kids now a days like to "Pre-Game" but keep it together liong enough to eat the food that will soak up some of that really cheap vodka you've been drinking

-Threats to jump off of balconies due to lost love - I know it hurts, but he/she isn't worth you, and it's one date but all that happens if you jump is a mess, and more paperwork for me and I hate making that call to "Nationals" and filling out the mountain of paperwork.

- vomiting in public places - i understand that, on nights like this, you are not buying that food and drink, simply renting it, but turn your rental back in somewhere privately. No one wants to see you do that, and while it's sort of funny to watch you hold your dates hair up (and quite endearing; that's true love) it's not something I really want to see

-you shirtless/pantless- I'm talking to you, frat boy! I know you have been working out in the student gym for the moment during your favorite grind song to show off your newly found abs, but stop it. You sell the idea to potential recruits and the campus at large as gentlemen. In this day of video everywhere, do you really want the reason you didn't get that awesome intership to be a video of you, shirtless, grinding on someone, put to a gay porn soundtrack (it happens)

-voyeuristic sex - it's formal, not a porno shoot. I shouldn't be able to walk into any open room (banquet hall, guest room, storage closet) and see you, sorority girl, coyly showing one boob, or you frat boy (probably my brother) trying to convince her that "just the tip" is OK. Really? Really? no. Get a room. Lock the door. Don't have a roommate, you cheap bastard. Don't be so loud that people think something bad is happening. Bring some music.
staying on sex...
-you not bringing protection and trying to use a myriad of things to replace a condom (toothpaste is still my favorite) If you do/did this, and your SO says it's ok, then you get what you get and godspeed.

-having an ass/bitch/douche as a date - I know that formal is the social event of the season ( i know of women that have gone to great lengths to snag an invite to my chapter's formal - at one time it was indeed the hottest ticket in town) but if you do get invited, remember that - you are an INVITED GUEST. Hopefully you wouldn't act like an idiot if invited to your date's family's house, so why do that here. Keep your clothes on (see above), handle your liquor, make sure you meet as many people as you can (you never know how that networking might work for you) and don't pee in the pool...

-not making it to the dinner/dance. It's the Holiday Inn Rosemont, not Vegas...make plans to hold your drinks to a point where you can walk, not fall down in elevators and actually have a conversation with your dinner companions.

-leave during the middle of the event. I know, the last thing you want to do is hear guys like me give speeches or, if you're a date, listen to who wins Brother of the Year, or Super Special Sister, but stay. You never know when your alums, intent on buying the room a few drinks, will show up and the room will be empty - BAD.

while I'm speaking of alumni, make sure that you recognize that, if you see alums of a certain age, with a woman (or a man), especially if that woman(man) has a ring on her left hand, that's probably their spouse. Make sure you say hello, and introduce yourself. Also don't exclaim that these "old people" are taking over/crashing your formal, and don't call them cougars or jaguars - very bad.

know what the dress code is - formal, at least in college, means semi formal. Find a suit and wear it. A cardigan doesn't cut it. Find a tie and wear that. Wear dress shoes, with dark socks. Do not dress like a pimp, unless you are one (If I ever walk into a formal and see someone wearing a suit out of one of the colors of the rainbow, understand that I will clown you, in front of your date, and then she'll leave with me, or one of your brothers that didn't bring a date

lastly, do not, fight your twin brother to the death, or cause anyone any bodily harm. Do not cause any bloodshed, and let's keep the police presence to a minimum. I don't want to have the potential of going to jail, or have to fill out paperwork, or call your parents.

All in all, have a good time.

IF you are reading this on facebook, please leave us your favorite formal story, embarassing or cute.

Marc...

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Why are people losing their minds about 8th grade graduation

Hello, gentle reader.
I'm sorry that I've been gone for so long, but I've been super busy. Since my last post, I've managed to leave my first apartment (lesson learned: if you know going in that someone is crazy, don't move in with them, no matter how nice it seems), live in a series of hotels (love the fact that I didn't have to clean behind myself, but got sort of claustrophobic after a while) lived with one of my best friends (who's daughter is the 2nd nicest little girl in the world for letting me live in her room all that time) and finally moved into what I think will be my PCS (permanent change of station) for the foreseeable future. Oh, and i got a new job as a Recruitment and Admissions Officer for a group of Charter Schools here in Chicago.

Along with that, I've tried to come to grips with being single, not seeing my children everyday, dating (i really need someone to honestly look at my match.com profile and tell me what is wrong-if you think you can help, ping me! please!) balancing work and life, and trying to win a baseball game or 2 with my high school team (we did OK - 13-1 in conference and 16-7 overall - playoffs start this Thursday - i can't wait ITS A GREAT DAY TO BE A WARRIOR!). That and keeping on my goal to lose as much weight as possible without getting crazy obsessive about the whole thing (in case you hadn't heard, between Ash Wednesday and Easter I lost 37 lbs. Woot! )

So why the title of my post? Well, in my position at school, my desk is located in the main office and I see a lot of stuff. What i saw today made me start this post. our 8th graders (our schools go from 6th to 12th grade in the locations that are at least 4 years old) and their families are losing their minds over tickets for graduation. People want to be able to invite everyone from mom and dad to their last cousin to see them accomplish this rite of passage - graduating 8th grade! A mother today was insisting to our Program Director (great guy - most laid back cat you could ever meet) how she had "professionals" coming to graduation practice and how she didn't want to be embarrassed...what sort of professionals? are there really people that are professional graduation runners - for 8th fricking grade??? WTH! That's not to mention the parade of cap and gown vendors coming into show their wares. Do we get Red and Grey robes or black - do we honor the kids on the honor roll or the Principal's list with tassels?

Please! this is truly a sign of why our kids are falling back - we give out glory and praise for the things they are supposed to be doing. (don't even get me started on the graduation I have to attend in August for my little one - from NURSERY SCHOOL) and then when something is truly amazing we blow it out of the water. When i finished 8th grade - we had graduation - we wore suits and dresses, we sang a song (Time to remember...) while they showed our baby pictures and some candids of the year. they gave out some academic awards and we got our diploma - that was it. No grand hoopla, no reserved seating (it was outdoors) and no hype because everyone was going to High school and everyone was going to graduate high school (that's when you throw the big deal) and go to college.

So for the love of all that's holy and good in the world, please stop this madness - I beg of you!

In other news, Congrats to the Wolfpack of Saint Ignatius for both their boys (3rd place) and girls (2nd place) water polo teams! Great season and Hail Ignatius!

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It's the most wonderful time...of the Year!

It's opening Day! Next to my birthday, and right in front of Election Day, it's the best day of the Year! It's a chance to re-new, and hopefully my Sox will win the AL central behind the great pitching they have. Here's hoping

In other news since I've been gone for so long, I've back on the weight loss kick. For Lent this year, I gave up pop and candy and fast food. After my body dealt with the shock of no gummy bears for the past 47 days, I lost 25 pounds. I feel better, but my knee doesn't want to buy into this program. I think I'm going to do P90X starting in a few days, once i can get the money to afford it.

On the baseball team front, my team is 3-3 (we should be 5-1 or 4-2 at the worst) as we move into conference play. Our conference is weak, so we should do OK and get ready for the playoffs in 45 days!

Hopefully I will find somewhere to live this week as living in a hotel isn't the best way to go

See ya soon - Hope Butler pulls one out of the hat tonight!

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Life changes fast...

So, today is Ash Wednesday. Millions of Catholics around the world are walking around their cities and towns with ashes on the foreheads, and thousands of others are walking up to them asking," Hey, do you know you have dirt on your face?" 40 days of this. Lent is supposed to be a time of reflection and reconciliation for the last year, and for your life, as we begin to celebrate the most holy day of the year- Easter - which we do by having out kids gorge themselves on chocolate bunnies and Peeps.

This year for Lent, I've decided to go back to the tried and true method of my youth and give something up. I've decided to give up pop and candy, and as an added bonus, give up eating at McDonald's. This means for me 2 things: 1)no gummi bears, which is my life source; 2) no red licorice during baseball games, which is what I chew instead of dip. This is going to be a long 40 days.

In other parts of my life that are changing, i'm moving in less than 15 days. Holy crap. not a lot of time to get 20 years of life into boxes while also splitting up the memories. In case you hadn't heard, my wife and I got divorced in January. I don't know what I'm going to do about that, and when I move out, I'll probably have a good cry about it and get really drunk, but it really hasn't hit me yet. Most of all, I don't know what to tell my daughter. I've got to come up with something quick.

So, I'm sorry if this post is depressing or something - i'll be back to funny soon

See ya around

Marc...

Lots of Balls in the air, let's hope none of them fall soon

Hi, everybody. So it's that time of the year where everything is coming at me - Founder's Day for the fraternity is 30 days away, which means my bienniel decision on if I'm going to run for office for the National Fraternity. I'm leaning towards no, but I still have 30 days, or so, and then i have until late july to really make up my mind.  Then I have my baseball team, who I have never met, who I need to hire coaches for yesterday, and for whom I need to go and really take stock of what we have in the inventory for things like balls, bats, etc.  This is nuts. Lastly, my personal live has been going topsy turvy and I don't know what to do about that - life changes, people coming in and out of my life - the want for LAsiK, all of these things are going on and I have to get a grip on this stuff by March 1. The one good thing is the fact that I've started selling stuff - people are buying insurance and I'm making money.

More to come later

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New Year- New Posting

Happy New Year!
As I said in my last post, I'm going to be committed to writing here more often.
I hope everyone hada great New Year's Eve/Day and is now focused on the new year. For me, that's about  4 things: Family, Work, Health, and Phi Psi.
Today is about work. My father told me that no one has ever drowned in a puddle of sweat. I've acted like I could drown in a second, and that's going to change. I'm really going to be focued to getting my career and my business off of the ground. To that end, I need your help. If you are one of the few people that actually read this blog, I need referrals for people that need insurance. If you send me a referral and they turn into a client, then I will send you a $100 gift card of your choice.
I know that it's not a lot, but I'm trying to get this moving, and I figured any little thing would help.

See ya soon - next post will be on Phi Psi

Marc...

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Happy New Year!

OK, So I hope everyone had a great New Year's Eve last night. Mine was made awesome by watching someone who normally doesn't ever get drunk get so plastered that he had to go and sit in the car and go home before midnight! WOW. I'm not going to name names, but if you're in my fraternity, he's my chapter brother...if you've ever been out with me, you've probably met him

On to other things - I'm not going to make resolutions - I'm just going to do stuff
For example - one of my goals is to be able to buy clothes in a normal store by July 15; another is to hit a certain monthly sales goal; another is to spend more time with my children and have fun.

More to follow soon...

Glad you got to see me!
Marc...

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